If you’re like me you can’t help but to want to help someone when they’re in need, and as humans when we learn something new or something works for us we initially want to spread the word and shout it from the mountain tops with the worlds loudest bull horn.
So of course when someone doesn’t want to drink our coolaid or doesn’t want to accept the help we do genoursely have to offer, we feel a hard blow and may even get in our feelings a bit.
I am totally guilty of this and I use to make the situation about me, that is until I realized how much it’s not about me at all!
If you’ve ever heard the old saying
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”
that totally applies here. If you lead 100 horses to the bluest truest water and let’s say for arguments sake that for every one that drinks one doesn’t, that means that 50 horses ? aren’t drinking from that water, simply because they aren’t that thirsty enough or because they just aren’t interested, and you know what, that’s totally OK.
The worst thing you can do for someone you really care about is pressure them into making a change they aren’t ready for, many times this may cause rebellion and even cause them to loose the overall lesson, so what are you to do? Simple. Take the “when you’re ready approach,” literally, put yourself at the disposal of others. Let them know they know they aren’t alone in the battle that they’re going through and that you’re interested in helping them “when they’re ready” that way they can have some wiggle room to assess their situation and feel like they’re in control of their life.
You can say things like “When you’re ready to talk I’m hear to listen”
“I see that you’re having a hard time I’d like to give some advice when you’re ready”
“You’ve tried X,Y,Z and I don’t want to pressure you but I think I can help when your ready”
It gives off a caring impression without being pushy.
I know how hard it is to watch someone go down the rabbit hole of dispair, but the honest part of life is we’re all sons and daughters of free will and conscious choice and we have to learn at our own speed, even if that means getting stuck in limbo and falling to our lowest, in the same respect we have the choice to patiently wait and be someone’s safety net.
Talk back to me, in the comment section below let me know how you handle people who don’t accept your helping hand right away? Do you just hang it up or do you allow them to seek your help on their terms.
I’d love to hear from you
Happily Healed Mom